/Past Works/Songs/
Stephen Ellis
This moniker was first applied for the duration of The Spectators, but when I stepped away from The Affair it felt natural to reapply the name - in part because it was a statement of my intent to take this music thing seriously again. I had no expectation of 'fame', but I had definite intentions of doing good work, my best work. Re-using 'Stephen Ellis' felt like a good way of publicly stating that intent. Likewise, killing Stephen Ellis off also feels like a good way of stating an intent to be consciously insular again - more like seb_7.
Stephen Ellis, may be back one day, but most likely not, and either way he certainly needs a rest for a while.
--Verse 1--
The song bird he sings another song
He's chirping out his melody
The people come, they gather round
Just to hear him sing
There's kids in prams
And ice cream vans
They sing along and clap their hands
--Verse 2--
But I'm a little bored, I'm a little terrified
So I walk into the forest, to escape the crowd
The silence of the trees
Just the rustling of the leaves
Then I hear that sound
A tree falls down
And crushes me into the ground
--Chorus--
But the song bird he, hears my cry
Flaps his little wings and over he flies
Perches at my side
Says, "well I'm not gonna lie
Today will be the day
The day, the day, the day
The day that you must die"
--Verse 3--
Now I'm lying on this forest floor, a fallen tree upon my chest
That's crushing the life right out of me
As I take my final breath
And I accept I'm close to death
My broken limbs
My punctured lungs
My brain has spilled out of my skull
--Verse 4--
I wail, I cry, I plead for help, can no one hear me call?
My life flashes out before my very eyes
All those days where did they go
Spent in the recording studio
Making all those songs for Spotify
That no one streamed and no one liked
--Chorus--
--End part 1--
So its goodbye to Facebook, YouTube, Instagram and Spotify
And its goodbye to TikTok and Twitter (though I never actually got round to opening an account with you guys anyway…)
And I just wanna say thank you.
Thank you for your highly engaging platforms that enabled me to present my music to billions of people all over the world.
Thank you for making me realise that my work was best presented not as a finished album, or even a single, but instead as a series of 30 second hand held video clips, each with their own amusing and preferably meme based caption.
Thank you for providing me with the metrics, analytics, and data driven insights that I need to best understand how to tailor my content to my audience.
Thank you for opening my eyes to a world of educational videos on brand marketing and self promotion strategies. That enable me to use your multi-tiered, algorithmically driven and cost controlled advertising portal so that I can target my fanbase with a precision and effectiveness that I was previously oblivious to.
Thank you.
And for all of these reasons that is why I must die
--End part 2--
And I guess that that just leaves me
With one last thing to say
From now on, Steven Briggs will release his tracks exclusively at
FallingTrees.co.uk
That's….
FallingTrees.co.uk
The Death of Stephen Ellis
07/2025
When I decided I was going to stop doing Stephen Ellis and start doing FallingTrees, I knew I wanted to do a final song under his name and that that song should celebrate his death. So this was almost functional rather than artistic. It took me a while to get my head into it, but once I'd got the core idea going it flowed pretty easily. The rant at the end will probably just annoy most people that actually get that far. And the distorted vocal collage of key lines from Stephen Ellis' greatest hits will most likely intrigue rather than be enjoyed. But to me, it's a fitting send off. The electronica at the end will segway nicely into what I do next. Just as the indie-folk of the first half concludes the direction that Stephen Ellis was settling (a bit too comfortably), into toward the end.
The Death of Stephen Ellis
lyrics
...details
--Verse 1--
She was just having a laugh
With the local lads
Not looking for a mama's boy like me
I never thought I'd get quite so far from home
She placed my hand
upon her breast
As we kissed under the willow tree
She said "over your dead body I will roam"
Well I was just a toy
A nervous little boy
Burdened with a broken heart
Destined to live my life out, so alone
--Chorus--
I'm gonna marry an astronaut
He'll go to space in his spaceman boots
Yeah ya know that he'll be far more man than you!
I'm gonna be a ballerina
I'll wear them ballerina shoes
Yeah ya know that I'll be far more man than you...
--Verse 2--
Well I was a mess
At the sight of her dress
As it rose up a boveher knees
She liked to quench her thirst
Sipping on my soul
She said that I was to blame
When we were not the same
Yeah she drank coffee
And I just drank tea
For all my failings I tried to atone
--Chorus--
--Verse 3--
She said that I was too nice
All sugar, no spice
And I guess that I had to agree
She sank her teeth through flesh
And into bone
She took me to bed
With a gun to my head
Pulled the trigger when she came for me
Popped me into her mouth
Swallowed me whole
--Outro Verse--
So it was always enough
Just falling in love
Didn't matter if my lover loved me
Over my dead body
She will roam
Ballerina Shoes
05/2025
One of those songs where as the chord sequence and harmony first formed at the piano I mumbled along a vocal melody and a few words took hold as I did so. They were kind of stupid, but impossible to replace - "I'm gonna marry an astronaut, he'll go to space in his spaceman boots...."
The rest of the lyric had to flow around that.
This is another song sung from the position of youth but reflected upon from a position significantly older.
I love some of the production - the scattered, blocks of drums. And the distorted guitar riff conjoined with the string line (very T-Rex).
But it's a very isolated song which doesn't fit within any kind of oeuvre, and it's somewhat inappropriate without context - although I like that aspect too in many ways, cos it feels a bit 'fuck you'.
So, it felt a bit unreleasable. A bit out of place. Particularly as I'd recently started paying to promote stuff and this just didn't feel like something I wanted to pay to promote!?
All in all then, another nail in the coffin for Stephen Ellis. It's a song which didn't fit, and had nowhere to go.
However, it still leaves me unsure where the home for this would be in Falling Trees? I hope it liberates me to do this kind of odd stuff, rather than constrains me from doing it?
Ballerina Shoes
lyrics
...details
--Verse--
Sipping his coffee, staring into the sun
His feet in the dew of the grass
Birdsong it fills the air
Raking through the ash
Of the embers of memories past
What's done is never done
Like that time back in '99
When that first album broke
It was 'glorious, timeless and bold'
According to the Sunday Times magazine
And a tour which started in a transit van
And finished flying private jets, LA to Japan
Like that was always the plan
--Chorus--
Tell me who put those stars in your eyes?
If you could live your life for a second time
Cause if those stars align
They'd shine so bright we'd all go blind
So oh well, well never mind
--Verse 2--
Abbey Road, Studio, 2003
Recording a duet with Chris Martin
Produced by Jay-Z
Yoko Ono, she was local
She dropped in to do a backing vocal
Along with Paul McCartney
An ever-growing army of loyal and dedicated fans
Enabled him to explore his creative passions
Outside of the band
Oriental origami
His own brand of vegan salami
Produced from beetroots he reared by hand
--Chorus--
--Verse 3--
2009, well he nearly died
From abuse of painkillers and alcohol
An addiction he finally found a way to beat
Wrote a book about what he'd learned
Made it freely available
In an online spiritual retreat
His political insights and general love of humanity
Resulted in the leaders of the free world
Offering him the responsibility
Of United Nations ambassador
For world peace in Africa
An opportunity not to be missed
--Chorus--
--Coda--
And now his coffee's getting cold
And the sun is getting low
As reality rolls in
He quit the band, he settled down
He sold his guitar to buy a kitchen appliance
The music industry let him down
He started a career in computer science
Who put those stars in your eyes
If you could live your life for a second time?
Staring Into the Sun
02/2025
This was originally going to be a Christmas song, a duet with Debbie, but she bailed on me. So I had a chord sequence and a bunch of harmonic ideas but no lyrical theme.
I met up with ex-Spectators Mark for the first time in 25 years. Had a good, but discombobulating catch-up. The following day a theme and and some starter words came to me - a song about when your mind spins about what might have been. But in this instance, taken to some ridiculous, and comical extremes. Another one of those songs where I don't think anyone actually listens to the lyrics enough to get what I'm going on about. Another one written for an audience that wasn't there - which is obviously quite ironic....
Staring Into the Sun
lyrics
...details
--Verse 1--
So they arrange to meet, for something to eat
El Capo, Manchester, 2pm on Saturday
He arrives a little early
She arrives a little late
Unravelling the scarf wrapped around her neck
It's a cold and wet January day
He starts to stand, offers to take her coat
Then realises he has nothing else to say
'Shall we have a starter?'
'Shall we share some wine?'
'Do you like to travel?', 'Tell me about your kids'
He's you been single now, for quite some time?
The waiter arrives, they split the bill
She puts her coat back on to prepare for the chill
'Shall we go for a drink, or do you need to get home?'
They're standing in the doorway getting cold
'So why don't we goto the ....'
--Chorus--
The Whisky Jar
It's just around the corner from right we are
There's a sofa made for 2
Yeah me and you
Right by the bar
And it's really not that far
The Whisky Jar
The Whisky Jar
The Whisky Jar, in Manchester NQ
--Verse 2--
Stepping in to the bar and out from the cold
That's brought a blush to her cheeks and the tip of his nose
Drunk on the vapours of an old fools hope
That arise from the mist and the murk of this city
The lights are down low, the music is slow
The chime of glasses and laughter, the room is aglow
'What do you want to drink, the next round is on me?'
'Straight, with no ice, Lagavulin 16'
--Chorus--
--Verse 3--
Sunk into the sofa, in the shadow of the room
Yesterday be gone forever, tomorrow be too soon
Cocooned in their whispers, in the silences that speak
Hushed like little children playing, hide 'n seek
The Lightness of their bodies, slow thickness of the air
He leans toward her face, pushes her hair behind her ear
--Chorus--
The Whisky Jar
01/2025
I was on holiday in Scotland, due to be walking, but the sky was full of storm - all week. So I decided to do some creative work instead - including daily sense writing. One of the scenes I wrote about was my first date with Debbie. And I realised it could make a nice song.
This is pretty much a literal transcription of the events of the day.
I love the warm embrace as the chorus comes in.
I'd prepared and practised this for open mic performance, but I bottled it and turned my back on live performance before it ever got performed. A shame. Particularly as I'd liked the idea of performing at the open mic at the Whisky (actually Whiskey) Jar itself.
The Whisky Jar
lyrics
...details
--Verse 1--
Another holy night
Another light and dark
Another night at sea
A tank with nowhere to park
A city raised so high
A city burned right down
Another book
So full of song
A rhyme of riddle and wrong
--Chorus--
Holy Night
Holy Night
--Verse 2--
Another night with God
Another line in the sand
Another symbol
Of blood in a thimble
To wash right off your hands
A place to hold your bags
A place to never call home
A place to linger
And hide from the finger
That points out that you're alone
--Chorus--
--Verse 3--
A name to speak out loud
A name to never forget
A name to list
To cease and desist
A name to always regret
Vacuum packed and sealed
A place with nowhere to leave
Packed in containers
Miscoloured strangers
So who cares what you believe
--Coda--
Holy Night
--alternativeVerse--
Once more we run in fright
Once more you raise your eyes
Your lips are sealed
Your eyes are peeled
The shade within the light
Another Holy Night
12/2022
About poor lost souls in blow up boats travelling across the english channel.
The people I admire don't make their political songs so overt, I tried to replicate that lyrically on this song.
It was written on the piano, I tried to take the piano out completely, but I couldn't make it work and it got to be frustrating rather than inspiring - maybe the song was too fully formed around the piano before I attempted to remove it?
I wanted it to feel a bit like a Xmas song, not sure I was successful with that.
Another Holy Night
lyrics
...details
--Verse 1--
When it all turns black
Full stop the end
When your heart attacks
Full stop the end
Get your head out that noose
You silly goose
You're at the end
--Verse 2--
When you're starting to heal
But you've still got the feels
Look so deep in their eyes
Just don't act so surprised
You're at the end
--Chorus--
And oh
When the cracks they start to show
Reap the seed that you have sown
Press return to send
And open up the door
You open up the door
--Verse 3--
When you're so on the level
You're playing poker with the devil
Living out your best dreams
In your t-shirt and jeans
It's still the end
--Verse 4--
Nothing left here to see
Full stop the end
Be what you want to be
Full stop the end
Opposing fingers and thumbs
You're all zeros and ones
You're at the end
--Chorus--
--Coda--
A door
A room
A light
Alone
A night
Awake
Tonight
To fall
To drift
To sleep
To dream
To dream
Be still
Be here
Be now
Before
The day
It breaks
The draining
Searing
Droning
Question of
So how
So when
So why
Did I put out the light that shines so bright inside of you?
-cover.jpg)
Full Stop (the End)
11/2022
Not much to say on this one. For me, it just works. Feels pretty solid. No sharp or frayed edges. Trundles along, minding its own business. One of my most satisfying songs to work on and complete.
Full Stop (the End)
lyrics
...details
--Verse 1--
So what lives inside a man?
Is it a single grain of sand?
Placed by the Lord Almighty's hand?
Is that what exists inside a man?
So what lives inside a woman
You hear the melody she's been humming
Her strings are strung and tuned for strumming
Is that what exists inside a woman
--Verse 2--
So build a ship and go set sail
Go hunt for fish and harpoon whale
Upon your sword natives impale
Take holy relics on your trail
Go conquer continents and seas
In search of coffee, sugar, tea
Bestow the world's civility
Act at all times gentlemanly
--Verse 3--
The nature and the feminine
Unbridled chaos stirs within
To rid all men of holy sin
Go forth, pierce nature's virgin skin
Reveal the order of all things
The myths and legends that we sing
Audits, accounts, bureaucracy
Unveil the earth's taxonomy
--Verse 4--
So can you hear its belly rumble
Those precious towers start to tumble
Amidst the ruins old men fumble
The words from history books they mumble
So what lives inside a man?
Is it a single grain of sand?
Placed by the Lord Almighty hand
Is that what exists inside a man
What Lives Inside
09/2022
A song about colonialism, the patriachy, religion. All the stuff.
I love songs that loop and build and you can basically throw the kitchen sink at it.
I wanted it to be like 'Psalm 4', Roxy Music, but it lacks the steady push and pull that only really comes from a live band.
What Lives Inside
lyrics
...details
--Verse 1--
I'm out in this field in a solitary pen
I'm holding my breath and just counting to 10
My head in the wind, my eyes to the sky
My back to the world, this world I've denied
--Prechorus--
And then you came and you span me around
My world was silent but you filled it with sound
And then you rescued me
--Chorus--
I was up on the hill, I was down in the glen
'You came you saw you rescued me'
I was gonna return, but I just didn't know when
'You came you saw you rescued me'
I was over the moor, I was out on the fell
'You came you saw you rescued me'
Frozen to the core and hungry as hell
And then you rescued me
Oh yeah you came and you span me around
--Verse 2--
A meal out for 2, we're eating seafood linguini
At a boutique hotel, sipping Espresso Martini
Those walks in the vineyard, those days in the sun?
I couldn't believe that I was having such fun!
--PreChorus--
--Chorus--
--Verse 3--
Shopping for cushions online at John Lewis
You say the colours don't match but I can't even notice?
I stare out the window at those hills in the sky
But it's warm here inside and I'm not gonna lie
--Chorus--
--Coda--
I was up on that hill
I was up on that hill
I was up on that hill
I was out on that hill
I was frozen to the core and hungry as hell
I was hungry as hell
And I was hungry as hell
Espresso Martini
08/2022
This one was an overt attempt at something happy, upbeat, joyous, uncomplicated. I was particularly happy with the rhyming of 'sun' and 'fun'!!!
Wish that I'd got some different voices involved in the chorus though.
Espresso Martini
lyrics
...details
--Verse 1--
So we talk without instructions
No steps, no 1, no 2
No return and start again
Resist the urge to make reductions
Mere false deductions
--Verse 2--
I say you've still so much to learn
Shrug your shoulders, turn your head again
I speak and don't know why
All the battle scars you'll earn
Why don't you just take mine
Just words from the wise
--Chorus--
So let's talk about how birds fly
While the trees you climb - limbs like ladder steps
I stand and stare to fear you fall
So let's talk about how birds fly
And there's another thing
But it don't mean a thing
You're on the wing
--Verse 3--
Don't live a life of near misses
Your broken hugs and stolen kisses
Oh your opportunity
Give me your eyes and see what matters
Avoid the maddest hatters
--Verse 4--
And now you're oh so much like you
Just a small a part of me
But you keep on shining through
To walk now in your shoes
Why don't you just take mine
Some words from the wise
--Chorus--
How Birds Fly
06/2022
Second version of this one - the original done under seb_7. I always felt it was one of my best songs, but was a bit under nourished. Maybe something got lost emotionally in this version though, the original does sound more heartfelt.
How Birds Fly
lyrics
...details
--Verse 1--
Behind those eyes
Behind that smile
Something's wrong and you've known it
For some time
Some secret lie
Some silence unexposed
Through invoices and tax return receipts
Through their bins you search for their deceit
But proof's not what you need
Deep down you know that now you know the truth
--Chorus--
A truth that fails
To make you feel
Like you know how to be real
Yeah, now you know the truth
A truth that fades
And makes you feel
Like you don't want to be real
Cos now you know the truth
--Verse 2--
He said he hid it all
So not to cause you pain
But if you hadn't found out
You know he'd do it all again
Hi secret lies, lie naked and exposed
Now no one knows what's going on at all
Towers of truth, they crumble, crack and fall
This world is full of fear
All you need right now is just the truth
--Chorus--
--Bridge--
She sails into a sea of silence
--Verse 3--
They say the truth's a whore
And all for the flag
So just close the door
Cos now you see it's
Stolen, hidden, bought and locked away
Bullies and psychopaths at play
You want to hold it near
A world destroyed
Cos now you know the truth
-cover.jpg)
The Truth
05/2022
I knew I wanted to do a second, bigger version of The Truth before I'd even finished the first version, something which leaned into the Bond theme dimension of the song. I tried that, but it just sounded like Adelle doing a Eurovision song. So I ditched it and well, tried to do an Arctic Monkeys rip off. No one has commented on the similarity so I obviously did a bad job!
The lyrics are more political on this version, which I was satisfied with.
Oddly I listened to just the end recently and the timing sounded very odd between the drums and strings - I do hope it doesn't sound like that to everyone else all of the time!? One of my big fears whenever I try anything non-obvious is that you can get so 'in it' that you can't hear it as an outsider any more, and so run the risk that you can't tell if its actually working or not...
The Truth
lyrics
...details
--Verse 1--
Goddess mother
Descend from high
Be my lover
Take me inside
Please be gentle
And listen to my plea
All I need is one thing
Won't you lie with me?
--Verse 2--
I need validation
I need to feel your divine love
I need it here beside me
Not out there up above
A lovers kisses
To be all this man can be
All I need is one thing
Won't you lie with me?
--Verse 3--
So love is for the young
And loss is for the old
For all your youthful hopes and dreams
Got left out in the cold
The endless sunless winter
Has brought me to my knees
All I ask is one thing
That you lie with me
--Verse 4--
Poured my soul into a bottle
To the sea my message trust
Would it carry me toward you?
Would it be cast ashore and lost?
Drifts slowly into the crashing waves
So small within the sea
All it said was one thing
Won't you lie with me?
--Verse 5--
She didn't break my heart
She simply drained it dry
And then she shedded all my tears
So that I couldn't cry
Somehow my heart's now fit to burst
Your blood flows within me
All I need now is one thing
That you lie with me
--Coda--
Someone raise the alarm
You're immune to my charm
And your love is a pure tragedy
Someone raise the alarm
You're immune to my charm
And your love is a mere memory
I know I could have known you
It's a fantasy
But all I ever wanted
But all I ever wanted
Was for you to lie with me
Lie With Me
03/2022
3rd recording of this song. This was initially an attempt to do the version that was was most forthright in my head when I first came up with it - i.e. played by a big raucous band, an unruly sharp edged gnarly blast of a song.
But this turned out to be more pop drenched than that. Which probably means there's another version out there somewhere - harder drums, harder guitar, more resentful, but definitely still with that hammered out piano chord allllllll the way through it!
Lie With Me
lyrics
...details
--Verse 1--
So if this is the end
For you and me
Please allow me this song
By way of apology
So I guess you might be wondering
About what might have been
With a different kind of lover
A different kind of husbandry
My rapacious hands, I've run them
across every inch of your skin
Your lakes and your streams, your hills and your fields
Have buckled beneath my whim
--Chorus--
So did he really no tsee
When he gave you to me?
From the birds inthe heavens
To the fish in the sea
Did he not know it now?
Oh this time, so absurd
When I'd be singing this song
Oh this song
This song about the end of the world
--Verse 2--
This stewardship fuelled by lust and greed
Technological disruption
Nuclear destruction
Ecological devastation
Are gonna be the end of me
The earth's got a case of the onset of the Anthropocene
"Lived fast, died young, left the earth as a corpse"
Will be the epitaph of humanity
--Chorus--
--Bridge--
Oh this song about the end of the world
Oh this song about the end of the world
Oh this song about the end of the world
--Coda--
For thousands of years
We've ruled over this planet
And we've fucked up the land and the sea and the sky
While we were at it
As all the animals died
How our teddy bears oh they cried
As we lapped up the oh so convenient mistruths
Of our great leaders lies
So economy this
And democracy that
Pay into your pension
Get old and get fat
Cos there's a top 1% of the top 1%
Cos democracy is screwed
And the economy is bent
In favour of men
In their silicon dens
Who stole all our dreams
And sell them back for rent
Cos the truth of our nature
They capture as data
But please rest assured
Their algorithms they don't hate yer
They're just here to help you
With your every day needs
By choosing what you'd like
To see, hear and feel
So maybe god knew all the while
In a last defence of gaia
We'd build for our destruction
An algorithm messiah
In the last breath of life
Just remember who was holding the knife
At the end of the world
The end of the world
The end of the world
A Song About the End of the World
02/2022
First attempt as Stephen Ellis to do full band sounding kinda song. The intention was to 'really go for it', 'do it properly' and then throw some money at promoting it too...
I cant quite remember why, but it ended up being sat on my hard drive for best part of a year before I released it. Even had a video ready to go. I think the whole promotion thing was turning me off so I ended up downgrading what I did and releasing with a bit, but not a lot of promotion. And nothing which I paid for.
Recording wise, I'm pretty happy with it, but this version never got the traction that the original did for some reason - i.e. none of the post-apocalypse palylists on Spotify picked it up. Probably because the beginning sounds a bit generic? And because it has the same title on Spotify, so probably screwed the algorithm a bit?
I do think though that if I had to play someone one song that I'd done, this would probably be it.
And I love the cover, Ellis was strangely resistant of the concept, but I think it really works.
Possibly still another version of this left to do out there somewhere, but probably not.
A Song About the End of the World
lyrics
...details
Sleepwalking
03/2021
I wanted to strip things back as far as they'd go for me. Just piano and vocals, yeah, maybe a few bits extra here and there, but... And to generally keep it minimal.
I'd like to try at this principal again, because the sound here isn't as intimate as I'd like and overall the songs could be even more stripped back - particularly if I don't feel the need to make songs entertaining for a (potential), audience.
Sleepwalking
lyrics
...details
--Verse 1--
She'll come
She'll go
She'll tear your heart
I know
Sometimes
It's hard to see
--Chorus--
Cos no one will ever love her quite as much as you do
But nothing's gonna change that girl
Let go
--Verse 2--
Someday
Not now
I know you'll see that
Your hopes, your fears
That both are wrong
--Chorus--
--Bridge--
She'll blow hot and cold
She'll give you hope
She'll let you in
She'll give you rope
To hang yourself upon
You're life laid out before you
With someone who'll adore you
So don't waste your time upon
That girl
--Coda-
Somewhere
Out there
You'll find another
She's kind
She's true
She's gonna love you too
There may never be another one just quite like she was
But there will be another girl
You know I hate to say it to you
But she's not in love with you
--future Verse 3--
The words
Unsaid
That flow between us
Your now
My then
Are here, somehow
Sleepwalking
03/2021
She
Some songs, often the best ones, start from placing your fingers on the piano without specific intention or structure and just happening on something very small - a few notes of melody, a chord change - which instantly alights. When this happens, usually the structure required for the rest of the song becomes strangely obvious.
That was all very much the case here.
The lyrics came very quickly too - partly a song to myself in my youth, but mainly a song to my son.
This one, more than any other, really does need to be re-recorded. Mainly just needs a simple, but purposeful beat behind it, and some bass. And it'll be quite anice pop song.
lyrics
...details
--Verse 1--
Goddess mother
Descend from high
Be my lover
Take me inside
Please be gentle
And listen to my plea
All I ever wanted
was for you to lie with me
--Verse 2--
I need validation
I need to feel your divine love
I need it here beside me
Not out there up above
A lovers kisses
To be all this man can be
All I ever wanted
was for you to lie with me
--Verse 3--
So love is for the young
And loss is for the old
For all your youthful hopes and dreams
Got left out in the cold
The endless sunless winter
Well its brought me to my knees
All I ever wanted
was for you to lie with me
--Verse 4--
She didn't break my heart
She simply drained it dry
And then she, she shedded all my tears
So that I couldn't cry
Somehow my heart's now fit to burst
Your blood flows within me
All I ever wanted
Was for you to lie with me
--Verse 5--
Stuck here on this island
Just hear my call
I wail and there's no echo
And it drives me up the wall
I've been bound and gagged and left for dead
Won't you set me free?
All I need is one little thing
Won't you lie with me?
--Verse 6--
Put my message into a bottle
To the sea my message trust
Would it carry me toward you?
Would it be cast ashore and lost?
Drifts slowly into the crashing waves
So small within the sea
All it said was one little thing
Won't you lie with me?
--Coda--
Someone raise the alarm
You're immune to my charm
And your love is a mere memory
Someone raise the alarm
You're immune to my charm
And your love is a mere fantasy
I know I could have known you
It's a tragedy
But all I ever wanted
But all I ever wanted
But all I ever wanted
Was for you to lie with me
03/2021
Lie With Me
This was the second iteration of this song. It was the version I played live on piano for a while. I think playing it live repeatedly made me fall out of love with this song tbh, but there's another version or 2 yet to come quite probably. There's also a better piano version that needs to be done I think...
The origin story of the song is captured in The Affair version description...
lyrics
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--Verse 1--
With a twist of her hips
She fell into my room
High with tequila
And sweet with perfume
Somewhere in her eyes
I could foretell our doom
But she had persuasions
That I couldn't refuse
That was the night she fell into my room
--Verse 2--
In search of tequila
We took to the street
She whirled like a dervish
So I took my seat
She sang 'oh, just kiss me'
On a luscious repeat
In awe of her spirit
I was swept from my feet
That was the night she fell into my room
--Verse 3--
So we fell for each other
Like young lovers do
Making love in a cupboard
at the works xmas do
We were fierce, free and fearless
And my heart pumped anew
And when she was in pieces
Well I was the glue
That was the night she fell into my room
--Verse 4--
So to marriage and mortgage
And child birth of 2
So to work and career
And trips to the zoo
So the fire turns to embers
And the embers turn blue
And I guess that contentment
Doesn't sit well with you
That was the night she fell into my room
Were we formed in a furnace
Or sticky taped uplike fools
Be it laziness, cowardice
Or the stubbornness of mules
But while the world has divided
We're still stood here us 2
The gods can't explain
How I'm still here with you
Do you remember the night, you fell into my room?
Sleepwalking
03/2021
Twist of Her Hips
Originally released under The Affair. This version is more piano focused though and attempts to have a but more polish.
It just trudges along a bit tbh though. Needs to be a bit lighter on its feet. The drumkit which I made from noises I recorded in the kitchen gets another outing here, but it maybe that it's that which makes it chug rather than skip?
lyrics
...details
--Verse 1--
So I'm sat in some bar, past 1am
Some November Tuesday, raining again
The silence is heavy, between me and the bar tender
He washes his glasses, I stare out my window
A man who keeps walking the street
Travels past the window in an endless repeat
I leave the bar, decide I must meet him
He stares at his feet as I try to greet him
---chorus---
Says I once used to walk in my sleep
Now I walk through the night, so awake I shall keep
Many years since I've rested my feet or my eyes
You see I've walked the world over, seen it's truths and it's lies
And I'm sure it will come now, as no great surprise
That I long one more time for my sleep
--Verse 2--
Mile upon mile upon mile every night
But he walks through the day too unaware of the light
Continents passed under the soles of his feet
Over flat and uphill, through cities and fields
Years since he walked from his home
Left his wife and his kids and his dog all alone
Mountain of debt, a house and a job
But he sent them some postcards, he wrote in a blog
---chorus---
--Verse 3--
Open the door, close it behind you
Tell me where I might find you
So much more just when you decide to
Spill out all that's inside you
The journey you'll take
You'll walk it alone
Till there's no place that's home
You'll say you'll be well
You say you'll be fine
But we pushed you away
The chord frays and unwinds
--Coda--
The somnambulist tells me of a dream that he had
The last night tha the slept, before his walking began
He dreamt of a city, with walls a mile high
And made of thick glass, and clear to the eye
And he walked around the walls looking for an entry
But the gate was closed tight and manned by a sentry
So he peered through the glass at the people within it
For a year, and a month, a day, an hour and a minute
See they sang, laughed and drank in the warmth of sunlight
And then slept in their beds in the cool of the night
Sleepwalking
03/2021
The Somnambulist
One of those songs which wasn't born from a dream, but was born from the place in the mind that dreams come from. An image, a character, a place, a movement. Wish I had more of these, because it's always very satisfying creating songs from them. It's one of those song ideas which would also make a good short story.
This was actually my second attempt to use these lyrics, the first was a seb_7 thing and was just too weird and discordant to be progressed. I'm please I resurrected the lyrics again here.
lyrics
...details
--Verse 1--
Try to remember
Sometime before
The fish that jumped from the sea
It's not forgotten
A word that sticks in your throat
A sign that you don’t follow
Collecting leaves from the trees
That grow within the garden
--Chorus---
I could see her face before but I've been away too long
I think I knew her name, but that was then before I started
Open your eyes and see
Don't take it easy on me
I've been away too long
Cos I am such a fool
For you
--Verse 2--
This crumbling house that you left me
The rooms that you didn't live in
Old pictures hung on the wall
Old lovers not forgotten
I knew a time when you knew me
Remember something that was
I hold a thought of way back when before all this was started
But that was way back then
--Chorus--
--Coda--
This child inside of you
Is another day older
The sun's just beginning to shine
The world's not getting colder
And drifting into view
As your focus gets clearer
You think I'm some wolf at your door?
Tell me what are you waiting for?
4 in the morning
This break of the day
Those hammering thoughts
Let them drift away
Lazy lies you sell
You're the only one buying
Well here is your truth
Tell me what were you waiting for?
Forget all of your faults
Forgive all of your sins
Sing from those rooftops
Yeah call out my name
Go wake all the neighbours
Just say I'm to blame
The broken hearted
The dear departed
The not quite started
The torn and parted
These fading lights they burn
So much harder and stronger
Well you've caught my horns in your wings
So now I'm gonna make you sing
Sing
Sing
Sing
Sing
Sing
Sleepwalking
03/2021
Sing
Possibly one of my favourite songs. Themed around giving in to loving and being loved even when part of you is world weary and beaten and doesn't want be that vulnerable.
The transition from minor to major toward the end when the strings kick in gives me goose bumps.
I need to do more of these very open lyrical piano lines - the very opposite of block chords. Very much my attempt to do Nils Frahm type pieces, a style which I turned away from for some reason.
lyrics
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Songs About the End of the World
11/2020
The songs on this EP were still very much born from me writing songs with a focus on playing live. I was keen that any recordings would still transfer to a live setting where it was just me and my faultering piano playing. However the instrumentation here is still more layered and complex than it was on The Truth.
This was the second EP I recorded, but when I was getting it mixed at a studio covid got in the way and delayed things.
I wasn't particularly happy with the results or the cost of getting it mixed by someone else, and I'd grown in confidence with my own mixing, so I decided to go it alone from now on.
Songs About the End of the World
lyrics
...details
--Verse 1--
So if this is the end
For you and me
Please allow me this song
By way of apology
So I guess you might be wondering
About what might have been
With a different kind of lover
A different kind of husbandry
My rapacious hands, I've run them
across every inch of your skin
Your lakes and your streams, your hills and your fields
Have buckled beneath my whim
--Chorus--
So did he really no tsee
When he gave you to me?
From the birds inthe heavens
To the fish in the sea
Did he not know it now?
Oh this time, so absurd
When I'd be singing this song
Oh this song
This song about the end of the world
--Verse 2--
This stewardship fuelled by lust and greed
Technological disruption
Nuclear destruction
Ecological devastation
Are gonna be the end of me
The earth's got a case of the onset of the Anthropocene
"Lived fast, died young, left the earth as a corpse"
Will be the epitaph of humanity
--Chorus--
--Bridge--
Oh this song about the end of the world
Oh this song about the end of the world
Oh this song about the end of the world
--Coda--
For thousands of years
We've ruled over this planet
And we've fucked up the land and the sea and the sky
While we were at it
As all the animals died
How our teddy bears oh they cried
As we lapped up the oh so convenient mistruths
Of our great leaders lies
So economy this
And democracy that
Pay into your pension
Get old and get fat
Cos there's a top 1% of the top 1%
Cos democracy is screwed
And the economy is bent
In favour of men
In their silicon dens
Who stole all our dreams
And sell them back for rent
Cos the truth of our nature
They capture as data
But please rest assured
Their algorithms they don't hate yer
They're just here to help you
With your every day needs
By choosing what you'd like
To see, hear and feel
So maybe god knew all the while
In a last defence of gaia
We'd build for our destruction
An algorithm messiah
In the last breath of life
Just remember who was holding the knife
At the end of the world
The end of the world
The end of the world
Songs About the End of the World
11/2020
A Song About the End of the World
I knew I wanted to write a song with a consistent pattern in the right hand, made interesting with chord changes in the bass, so I basically just faffed around until evnetually this song happened. The chord changes resonated with me with from the outset, so as normally happens in that situation words start flowing pretty quickly. One of the lines that came very early on was "This song about the end of the world", which I thought was kind of ridiculous. However, I couldn't shake that line, it worked so well. So I decided to go with it. The other line which gelled and wouldn't remove itself was "So I guess you might be wondering about what might have been, with a different kind of lover". But those 2 lines didn't seem to go together at all! I also knew that I didn't want this to be a song about a break-up....
Somewhere along the way "husbandry" came into the mix and joined the 2 conflicting themes together with a sense of 'man' betraying the environmental responsibilities of stewardship bestowed upon him by God. After that I just had the rest of it to write, which took a fair while, but there was plenty to go at.
The layering of the voices was fun, but frustrating. In truth, despite my dissatisfaction with the mixing process at the studio, I couldn't have mixed those voices myself.
This song always did well at open mic and got picked up by multiple apocalypse themed playlists on Spotify. But from early on I felt that a bigger version was possible.
Like so many artists say, all the best songs they write come to them from somewhere unknown. It is a kind of magic - certainly the original inception. Many artists talk about a whole "offering from the universe" thing, which I'm always very sceptical of, but the best of what I do definitely is seeded by that kind of experience. The Truth, Lie with Me, She, this one - they all pop into existence not fully formed, but with a momentous self propelling energy, which is unmistakable when it happens.
Yet again I wonder with this song whether anyone gets the whole "husbandry" bit. The key line really is "from the birds in the air, to the fishes in the sea", which is a Genesis reference which I really don't know if anyone spots. This recording was pretty popular in Columbia though... Catholics.
lyrics
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--Verse 1--
What's this newspaper telling me?
What is this catastrophe?
Can't bring myself to believe
But it's laid out in front of me
The flaw of democracy
This collective insanity
To escape this country
Gonna pack up my bags and flee
--Chorus--
Into those hills
Never to return from those hills
--Verse 2--
So they promised autonomy?
Via communal lobotomy
So open your eyes and see
May as well vote for anarchy
An out of date vanity
A heinous nationality
You've exhausted all profanity
Oh the humanity
Into those hills
Never to return from those hills
--Chorus--
--Bridge--
So when your neighbours have failed you
Your family deserted you
Your God has forsaken you
Well now you know what to do
--Coda--
Into those hills
Into those hills
Into those hills never to return
From those hills
Songs About the End of the World
11/2020
Into those Hills
When the result of the Brexit referendum came in I was walking in Scotland. It felt pretty lonely up in the hills that day. I wrote this song in my head as I was walking. I remember reading an interview with Julian Cope where he said that he often wrote songs in his head while walking in the hills, and he was surprised at how simple the melody and chord structure was when he actually got home and transcribed it - that's certainly the case here, super super simple.
Always went down well at Open Mics. The political ones always did.
I used that same drumkit I built for 'Twist of Her Hips' (by sampling sounds in my kitchen), on this one.
lyrics
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--Verse 1--
They live their lives in an open grave
Feel too observed to misbehave
Approved denial of all they crave
Gestures made misunderstood
Or banned outright for greater good
And all we've got to share is blood
--Chorus--
How will they even know
And when you've got nowhere left to go
--Verse 2--
The truths we held so deep so strong
And once held right but now held wrong
So words lay dull on tip of tongue
Moulded souls in plasticine
Avoiding now the shape obscene
In true denial off all we've been
--Chorus--
Verse 3--
Maybe they'll join in palpitation
In human one-to-one relation
To avoid incrimination
They'll drown beneath those complications
It seems we have rewrote the book
Sometimes I don't know where to look
We do not know just what we took
--Coda--
There's something that we need to know
Tell me how will they even know
Songs About the End of the World
11/2020
How Will they Even Know
This is me pondering the terrible social media experiment being performed by my generation on our kids. And all the incumbent risk of its failure. Particularly re their potential lack of developed skill at forming meaningful relationships...
Fortunately I think my worries were somewhat misplaced, and 'the kids' are doing just fine!
lyrics
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--Verse 1--
The hate he spews out from his lips
Some ancient text clenched in his fist
With more rhyme than reason
He calls open season
On forces of apocalypse
Battle lines drawn in the streets
Social Media bangs the beat
A generation forgotten
A people down trodden
Taken to his feet then he says…..
--Chorus--
So someone please go get me a gun
This world that we made its become overrun
By people I hate, for almost every reason
My fear and my loathing of almost everyone
--Verse 2--
So choosing words, strikes fear in the masses
Future unclear? Well he's got you glasses!
Look left and look right
But there's no one in sight
Who do you turn to and who do you fight?
With braying hordes, he makes his mark
Say he's shining his light deep into the dark
So he frames and he names, he shames and condemns
Now wrap up all your hatred and just aim it at them
--Chorus--
--Verse 3--
All hail now cos hears the answer
We found the culprit of this social cancer
Your fear and your doubt
Of why you get left out
He'll tell you what it's all about
Fill your ears with this conspiracy
Avert your eyes from the hypocrisy
Oh the lies and deceit
Convince with endless repeat
Listen to the man as he says….
--Chorus--
--Verse 4--
Global populations soar
Plastic washed up on the shores
Temperatures' rising
The boat is capsizing
7 billion and no room for more
Thoughts of imminent demise floods the internet
Though the odds are stacked against us we're all taking bets
Treat the world like an ashtray, we're the cigarette butts
I'm here to save the day with all my rhyming couplets
--Chorus--
Songs About the End of the World
11/2020
Overrun
Very much about Farage and his kin. Hate fuelled anger merchants and all round bell-ends.
An attempt to meld piano and synth with some rhythm - but not full drums... which doesn't really work in the end. Kind of confused overall.
And the song is a bit preachy, which worked quite well live cos it engaged a like minded audience, but on a recording with backing it sounds kind of disjointed I think.
lyrics
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--Verse 1--
Heavy rain coming
Over that hill
A storm is a brewing
And it brings youill will
Yeah a gale coming
Heavy rain and high wind
On the other side of that hill
--Verse 2--
Heavy rain coming
In from the west
I'm not saying you should panic
But it might be best
Yeah a storm brewing
So don’t go outside
Cos who knows just what you might find
--Verse 3--
There's clouds on that horizon
And everyone agrees
Scientists and politicians
Corporations and police
The economy in ruins
Society collapsed
But just sit back down and relax
--Verse 4--
The shelves may become empty
of your favourite food
But there's no need to be selfish
There's no need to be rude
There's a queue forming
So just join the line
For baked beans and UHT Milk and wine
--Verse 5--
Everything is uncertain
Here's a word to the wise
You might as well just face it
That you'll probably die
So be a good boy about it
And you a good girl
Cos this is a dark scary world
--Verse 6--
We're just stuck in our houses
No we never go out
Yeah the pubs are all closed
And there's no one about
And I miss all my friends
Staying in bed till noon
Cut my grass everyday
Watched the whole of YouTube
Heavy Rain
Songs About the End of the World
11/2020
Heavy Rain
Blatant lock-down song. There's a Hungarianesque signature to this, which I just fell upon somehow. Had to record the left and right hand separately though, cos it was too hard to play otherwise!
Kind of love this one. In part because it was kind of random and I don't really know how I did it.
I wish I'd gone with a less obvious covid reference with the last couple of lines though, because it dates it so much.
lyrics
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The World Returned
06/2020
I started this after I'd finished the 'Songs About the End of the World' EP, but was waiting for it to be mixed. The recordings here are more layered and electronic, not all of them could be performed live. These recordings stand out from the rest of the Stephen Ellis songs because they're more electronic and in-the-box, often with no attempt to sound 'live'. I think I like them because of that. Feels a bit like seb_7, but more capable. It was a bit of lockdown record, somehow that's reflected in the in-the-box electronica of it all.
The World Returned
lyrics
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--Verse 1--
Help me Doctor cos I can hardly breath,
the strangest thing is taking over me
Help me Teacher, cos I don't understand
The words you show me they're just written in the sand
Where are all the wisemen?
---Chorus---
Set me like the evening sun
Point me like a loaded gun
I'm the paint that will not run
Lead the asses by the nose
Are you the one who has arose
Just take me out when I am done
--Post Chorus 1--
Where are all the wisemen, I wanna see the show?
Just wind me up and then just let me go
--Verse 2--
Help me Father, cos I want to believe,
I need some faith now to give me some relief
Help me Lover, cos I just want to feel,
something so hard that I can't question if it's real
Take me to the blindman, cos I just wanna see
--Chorus--
--Post Chorus 2--
Take me to the blindman, cos I just wanna see
Just lock me up and then just let me be
--Verse 3--
A train of people, with pills within their hand
Read and watch and write and like, but rarely understand
Absent watchmaker, you really left a hole
Filled up with technologists who code away the soul
---Chorus---
The World Returned
06/2020
Loaded Gun
This track is about coercion and control and how we can be oh-so willingly led by authority figures.
There was an attempt at complexity of chord playing here that I should get back to - lots of 4 notes chords in both hands. I don't attempt that any more - somewhere along the line I decided that the people I like just don't do that, so I readjusted my expectations of myself. But I need to experiment with that style of playing again.
Very much felt like a song not to be revisited or lingered on this one. Succesful in it's own way, nicely self enclosed. But I never felt the need to return to it or linger on it.
lyrics
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--Verse--
This thing within my hand
And underneath my feet
These things are all around me
Candy floss on the ferris wheel
I think I know that feeling
That sky is a sea of pink
Dirty dishes in the kitchen sink
These days they seem to last so long
The clock is ticking
Listen for the alarm
4 minute warning
But now It's all laid bare
The steepest climb
Sometimes its so unfair
Bad man calling, badman calling
The same old story for so long
So it's time to move along
Is there a bright blue sky undimmed by smog?
Trapped in the system, trapped in the system
Emissions target zero, that’s all that you are
Can't stop adding, can' stop adding
Can't stop adding for the things that you love
Meatless meat and electric cars
A burger and fries and a litre of coke
You see, you do, you think, you feel, you are
In a forest, a meadow, a garden
Immigrant bird song fills up the air
Someone else someone else will deal with this
Something else something else will come along
Somehow somewhere
Someday sometime somebody something someone
Then voices appear
Somebody had a bright idea to
Fix it up not cover it up, like
Recycling bins full of coffee cups
If you wanted the answer you should have asked
Prediction of apocalypse a thing of the past
Theysay the car is dead
And there's nobody waiting for you under you bed
You're just sleeping and waking and eating and being
Species and places
Faces and traces
Kings, Queens and Aces
Lost causes and races
Bringing up children and going to work
Laughing and breathing and hoping
This time, align reveal the crime, and make it clear
A war faced horde appears just to wash it clean
Charity, peace and hope
Look down your periscope
Time to start adding
Born from a skipping rope
The bad man is dead
And it's time to move along
Take hope
Take charity
Take peace
Take mercy
Take anger
Take misery
Take laughter
Take religion
Take war
Take love
Take kindness
Take trust
Take joy
Take redemption
Take forgiveness
Take wonder
Take remorse
Take relief
Don't take time
The World Returned
06/2020
4 Minute Warning
One of those songs that just layers up and builds. Super easy and super fun. Playing around with euclidean rhythms is always very satisfying.
Lyrically I wanted to do a positive reflection on a post-climate-change future. I basically just grabbed a bunch of ideas and themes from a relevant copy of National Geographic, threw them together and churned them around until they worked.
This one definitiey went outside my comfort zone in terms of my singing because it's spoken word which gets uncomfortably close to rapping.
It was also a song which I knew for sure I'd never be able to do live - which was probably a first for Stephen Ellis stuff, which had always been born from doing Open Mics and things needing to feel "real" and authentic for me as a solo performer.
Also,... I was rather pleased with myself when I got the song to exactly 4 mintues...
lyrics
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--Verse 1--
Looking back I was kind of easy
Cos deep down I just wanted to please you
It took a while for the lies to finally show
I didn’t want to know
You know we've walked this way before
But last time we walked through a different door
Another door
On and on and back to the beginning
I didn't try that hard
Cos you didn't want me to do
Did you?
---Chorus---
Cos we got sideswiped
Believe me
Just promise to water and feed me
Ya know we sold our souls
Now ask for forgiveness
And baby just pray it's true
That we got sideswiped
--Verse 2--
I closed my eyes, I waited to see it
All this time I just wanted to be it
The trickle down
It'll trickle to me I know
A phone a fridge a couch and a TV
I worked so hard oh just like you wanted me to
Didn't you?
---Chorus---
--Bridge--
My beating heart, my pupil dilation
My wants my needs my configuration
---Chorus---
The World Returned
06/2020
Sideswipe
A political song masquerading as relationship psychology again (although I do sometimes wonder if the reverse is true). And another one about coercion and control - how it's easy to get swept along and complicit, just because you want a few home comforts.
Attempts to be a Goldfrapp-esque lagubrious electro-disco number.
It's a bit strained this one, a bit forced somehow. Vocally strained too. And I can hear that I feel a bit tired of the song by the time I recorded it. I'd love to be able to do this style of music, but rhythmically there's something intangible that i don't seem to be able to nail, so stuff just sounds a bit sluggish.
lyrics
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--Verse 1--
The sound of his footsteps, it turns her on
The blink of her eyelids, in the early morning sun
He calls out her name, "is there any mail for me"
This is the life you lead
--Verse 2--
Through the morning run she's by his side
She measures his heart beat, no there's no place left to hide
She's counting his steps, "Well you've beat your personal best"
This is the life youlead
---Chorus---
So who's asking who questions?
Who's turning who on?
They're no longer suggestions…
This is the life you lead
--Verse 3--
She chooses the news he'd like to see
A curated mix of funnies, outrage and celebrity
She watches him closely, he's so easy now to read
This is the life you lead
---Chorus---
--Verse 4--
She soothes him to sleep, her calming voice
He finds it sedative, the removal of all choice
When she's beside him , he finds it strangely hard to breath
Cos this is the life you'll lead
---Chorus---
The World Returned
06/2020
This is the Life You Lead
A song about Alexa/Siri etc, wrapped up as a relationship song.
This one got played a lot at Open Mics. The songs stands quite easily even without the a-rhythmical loops and synth backing.
Simple. And one of the more succesful songs I think (success I'm defining in the self contained way, in terms of it meets it own goals without faultering or compromising).
Again here though, I doubt most people will see it lyrically as being anything other than a slightly weird relationship song - like some kind of S&M thing or something? Which is always annoying cos the doubt that people will know what I'm actually singing about always means I end up feeling the need to be really overt with lyrical intentions, which in turn ends up cheapening things...
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--Verse 1--
And we don't run
We don't say nothing
Can't be undone
Some things they'll break the world
The miracle unseen
Must still have been
--Verse 2--
And these
Colours arrayed
Displayed through silence
Of light and colour
Sounds of constant rain
A sentiment that strays
Across the screen
A voice that's heard but never seen
Forever
--Verse 3--
A chandelier of splintered glass
Across this floor this dust this ash
Go see a show, forget your troubles
Holograms of futures past
This mausoleum of dancing girls
They tower so high
I swear it lasts forever
--Verse 4--
These stairs descend
From light to dark to light
They spiral as they bend
These shimmering rippling walls of gold
A blind man's eyes the box unfolds
And fly around this room
She's born from clay
But dead she lay forever
---Chorus---
Whenever
This blackout falls
This stuttering shivering
Life returns
To scorch this ground
A world returned
So come alone
And pray to God you'll last
Forever
--Verse 5--
Formed within the world
This man's idea
now living out
Another's dreams
This alphabet of you
Zeros and ones of all your memories
And searching for a child
Pushed into the world
Hair and bones and teeth
Forever
--Verse 6--
The pinnacle of light
Layers of light
This towering light
This blinding light
From bright to quiet, from day to night
Robbed of sight
Somehow you dance across the floor, the walls the ceiling
Blue and green
--Chorus--
The World Returned
06/2020
The World Returned
I re-watched BladeRunner 2049 and wrote thoughts down as I watched. Churned them around and glued them together.
I was going for a Scott Walker meets Hans Zimmer effect on this one...
Probably one of my favourite tracks actually. Bold and brazen, totally over the top in its theatre, but I think I just about pull it off. No one else likes it, but hey-ho.
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The Truth
03/2019
This was my first release under Stephen Ellis. EPs felt like the way to go at the time. The overall intention with this EP was to do something which was very piano and vocal focussed. I wanted to cut things back from the full-band aspirations of The Affair and do something more "real". Equally though I was aware that getting complexity in the sound with very limited piano playing ability was going to be tough, so I did include strings and even some very limited drums on Devil's Days.
Every song I wrote and recorded at this point was included in live performance, just piano and vocal.
The self-imposed limitations of this EP ended up feeling a bit false, in no small part because the piano isn't "real" and the strings certainly aren't.
The Truth
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--Verse 1--
Behind his eyes, behind his smile
Something's changed, you've known it for some time
Some secret lie
Some silence unexposed
Through hotel bills and restaurant receipts
Then through his phone you search for his deceit
But proofs not all you need
Cos deep down you know, that..
--Chorus--
... now you know the truth
A truth that fails
To make you feel
Like you know how to be real
Yeah, now you found the truth
A truth that fades
And makes you feel
Like you don't want to be rea
Cos now you know the truth
--Verse 2--
He says he hid it all
So Not to cause you pain
And if you didn’t know now
You know he'd do it all again
His secret lie
Lies naked and exposed
He doesn’t know what's going on at all
He stands prepared for the fall
His face its full of fear
Cos now he knows, that...
--Bridge--
She sails into a sea of silence
--Verse 3--
So walk out the door
Don't ever look back
Face to the floor
You just want him back
Whole and clean just like it was before
You're not prepared for this fall
You want to hold him near
But all things fail, cos...
The Truth
03/2019
The Truth
Not sure why, but lyrically I circle around the idea of lies and dishonesty a lot. This is a song about a woman who has been cheated on. She wants to know the truth, but the truth comes at a cost. The truth has a destructive power. The truth arrives with a threat of consequence.
The chord composition of the song was very much a result of me making small increments on the piano, one finger at a time, gradually away from a known place to a place that I didn't understand at all. Some of those chords are still very difficult for me to understand, but they just work.
I knew I needed strings on this, but I wanted small strings, like a quartet. It took a laaaaawng time to compose the parts in a desperate attempt to make them soar, but still maintain a sense of intimacy.
I really struggled with the mixing, so I took the recording to a studio to be mixed and mastered. That process was really liberating and particularly with all these intertwining string parts produced a better result than I could have managed myself. Even with the professional mix, the vocals still sound so crispey and harsh. Particularly in the "She sails into a sea of silence" bit - so many S's!!!
Some songs when you write them instantly feel like something special. Sometimes that specialness fades, but sometimes it remains. Sometimes that sense of specialness is mirrored back in some small way, and sometimes it isn't. This one retained it's specialness throughout - including when I played it during many Open Mics.
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--Verse 1--
So you keep chasing dreams
The night is dark and oh so long
Fraying at the seams
Your melodies go on and on
--Chorus--
Words
Gonna love you or leave you
Scattered across your floor
Time
Not gonna wait your permission
And time is keeping score
And it's a nil nil draw
--Verse 2--
Sooner or later
It's gonna be there now I know
There's no no-show no
Reflections in a mirrored lake
Oh my god, for goodness sake
Why must this carry on?
So where did it all go wrong?
--Coda--
So you file your selfaway
Reduce your life to a shadow play
Never hold your head in that way again
Waiting all those years for the silence to end
And then
And then
And….
To light a trembling flame
In the hollowest of hearts
Or give a gentle kiss of rain
So a mountain stream it starts
To release a spring of words
Like a flush of birds in flight
To make the unknown known
To set this world alight
The Truth
03/2019
Words
Literally a song about words and the difficulty in conjuring them when trying to write lyrics... This sense was largely born from me committing to myself (and others on Facebook), to write 4 songs while Debbie was on holiday in Vietnam - because I'd not written (m)any songs since meeting Debbie earlier in the year.
I love the poem at the end of this song. A poem that came into my head very quickly and impromptly while showering off a hangover after a sleepless night in the early months of ending my marriage. Twas a tumultuous time... my sense of confusion fuelled by massively disastrous attempts within the world of online-dating. Ironically, this poem was an exact expression of the opposite experience of what the song was about! It's the kind of thing that only presents itself when you're feeling kind of broken. Too much booze and not enough sleep undoutedly create fissures in the mind through which this stuff erupts. The rest of the lyric feels kind of forced as I read it, but to other people it still seems authentic I think, so that's fine.
It's a simple piano part, but still kind of pretty, in a poppy kind of way. I kind of like how I wrote parts back then - like I didn't know what I was doing, because I didn't. I still don't, but back then I really didn't.
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--Verse 1--
So we start out from nothing
Building castles in the sand
You've all that you needed
Feel it run through your hands
Head in the clouds, feet in the sea
Sun on your body, as you cool in the breeze
Lie on your back watch those planes in the sky
With the sun glasses you hide behind
--Chorus--
You drew those lines in the sand
But now the devil is shaking your hand
The wind came along blew those lines right away
And now the devil is having his way
--Verse 2--
The deals that you brokered
To protect you and yours
So called good intentions
Like driftwood on the shore
All in a boat, what you thought you could save
Pushed out to seal ike a gift to the waves
Well the storm clouds they gather, and can you hear that sound?
It means the devil's not screwing around
The Truth
03/2019
Devil's Days
Plays with the idea of a villainous character (think Trump, Farage, Musk), who potentially started off as a regular guy with ambitions but still with principles. But through a series of small, seemingly pragmatic decisions their principles fade and each small unprincipled and selfish act compounds the previous one.
That's a factor of living a life which is a risk for us all - though not to such villainous extremes perhaps.
Just a fairly simple song that came and went. Did it have drums on it, not sure, think it probably did (don't feel inclined to listen again to this one)? Which is definitely counter to what I wanted this EP to be (i.e. no drums just piano focussed singer-songwriter stuff), and is maybe why the song seems small and compromised to me - should have just gone one way or the other, full drums or no drums. Ironically, I didn't stick to my principles....
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